Staff Picks Book Review - Sorry, Sorry, Sorry: The Case for Good Apologies by Marjorie Ingall and Susan McCarthy

Thursday, March 16, 2023

Sorry, Sorry, Sorry: The Case for Good Apologies by Marjorie Ingall and Susan McCarthy“Say you’re sorry”, is one of the first things we are taught in life. As authors Marjorie Ingall and Susan McCarthy point out so clearly, too many of us never learn how to do it well. In Sorry, Sorry, Sorry: The Case for Good Apologies Ingall and McCarthy lay out how and why to make the kind of apology that gives healing to the person being apologized to as well as the person doing the apologizing. To begin the book, the authors lay out the six steps to making a complete apology. Yes, it is more than saying “I’m sorry”. How often has someone told you they regret that you felt let down by something they did? Such an apology leaves out the offending person’s action and focuses only on the perceptions of the other person. Likewise, the person who did the offending should not make themselves a victim. If a corporation is found guilty of environmental damage due to unsafe business practices, they should not begin an apology “we are deeply saddened by the harm….”. 

The authors explore a variety of apology scenarios ranging from day to day shortcoming all the way to high profile figures like the President of the United States. As social media allows us all to be more integrated with the world than ever before and what used to be private quickly becomes fodder for the public discourse, the ability to make a sincere apology has never been more important. For more on the topic of apology, readers can visit where Marjorie and Susan delve into the quality of apologies being offered in the corporate, political, and social media world or check out one of these great titles.


Why Won't You Apologize? Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts by Harriet Lerner

Dr. Harriet Lerner has been studying apologies—and why some people won't give them—for more than two decades. Now she offers compelling stories and solid theory that bring home how much the simple apology matters and what is required for healing when the hurt we've inflicted (or received) is far from simple. Readers will learn how to craft a deeply meaningful "I'm sorry" and avoid apologies that only deepen the original injury. Why Won't You Apologize? also addresses the compelling needs of the injured party—the one who has been hurt by someone who won't apologize, tell the truth, or feel remorse. Lerner explains what drives both the non-apologizer and the over-apologizer, as well as why the people who do the worst things are the least able to own up. She helps the injured person resist pressure to forgive too easily and challenges the popular notion that forgiveness is the only path to peace of mind. With her trademark humor and wit, Lerner offers a joyful and sanity-saving guide to setting things right.

When Sorry isn't Enough: Making Things Right with Those You Love by Gary D. Chapman

In this book, #1 New York Times bestselling author Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas unveil new ways to effectively approach and mend fractured relationships. Even better, you'll discover how meaningful apologies provide the power to make your friendships, family, and marriage stronger than ever before.

The Five Languages of Apology: How to Experience Healing in All Your Relationships by Gary D. Chapman

Just as you have a different love language, you also hear and express the words and gestures of apology in a different language. New York Times best-selling author Gary Chapman teamed with counselor Jennifer Thomas on this groundbreaking study of the way we apologize, discovering that it's not just a matter of will--it's a matter of how. By helping people identify the languages of apology, this book clears the way toward healing and sustaining vital relationships. The authors detail proven techniques for giving and receiving effective apologies.

The One Minute Apology: A Powerful Way to Make Things Better by Kenneth H. Blanchard

With his phenomenal bestsellers The One Minute Manager and Raving Fans, Ken Blanchard changed the way we approach management, leadership, and customer service. Now Blanchard, along with coauthor Margret McBride, presents a concept that, when implemented properly, is one of the most powerful actions for improving company and employee morale. This is also a book that can extend well beyond the business realm and can repair relationships that we thought were broken forever.

Using Blanchard's signature breezy style, The One Minute Apology tells the story of a Young Man who wants to help his mentor, a company president, face and deal with some crucial mistakes he has made. For advice, the Young Man turns to a family friend, the One Minute Manager. What begins as a beautiful country weekend turns into an enlightening few days when he discovers what it truly means to apologize effectively when we have done something wrong. Through this engaging parable, Blanchard and McBride teach readers step-by-step how to accept responsibility for their errors and deal with the cause of the damage while maintaining a genuine sense of integrity.

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